Dear Steve,
I was kinda lonely, so I thought I’d give you a shout-out. I mean, your job is basically supposed to be taking care of all of the people of Canada and looking out for our needs, so doesn’t my need to chat with someone fall under that category? Hey, and it’s something you can do for your country without spending any budget money! Huzzah! Or, if you really felt like it, you could find a way to spend taxpayer’s money on reading this letter. You could take the money that it costs to mail return letters from our tax money. Or, you could charge taxpayers the amount of coffee needed to get through reading my letters, which I assume is a fair bit. Or, you could count reading this letter as work, and your salary could go towards this action. Or, you could waste money by sending me some sort of novelty government merchandise in order to gain my favour- you know, Canadian pins; brochures on the House of Commons; signatures of all the cabinet members on a T-shirt with a picture of a smiling, waving you and a backdrop of Parliament; that sort of thing.
Missing you, Steve,
NL
(P.S.- can the T-shirt be one of those over-sized ones that are far too big for me to wear in public, unless I consider it a dress? Thanks!)
